i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
