OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ladies don't puke and tell
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
