I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
