i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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