this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
