i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
where am i from again
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
