put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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