i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
