dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
what is it with giant penises always finding me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
