There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
