two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
