WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
