they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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