If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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