I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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