i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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