I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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