It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize