There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
