Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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