does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
