I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
