You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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