would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
