guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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