I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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