I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
