I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
