I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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