how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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