2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
