I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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