ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
