In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
