he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize