she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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