But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize