You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
