WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
