Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
