there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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