She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
