It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
