Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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