Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize