i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize