It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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