I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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