We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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