mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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