Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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