I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
