how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
