going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
