I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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