3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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