I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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