meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
