I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
