Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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