wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Boobs are out for the taking
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
